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Tips for Great Conversation Skills / Conversation Skills / Communication Skills / Traits of Good Conversation

Good conversation is an important skill in almost every situation. Whether its on the job, with spouse or children, in a social setting or everyday life, good conversation is important. Here are some great tips on good conversation:-

 A)  To participate in good conversations or meetings, you must learn to be a good listener, and it’s much harder than most people think. Here are four rules for listening:-

v     Listening is not a passive activity. Unless your mind is involved as well as your ear, you aren’t really hearing the other person.

v      Listen for key words and ideas. Reach out and catch what is in the mind of the speaker – just as the catcher in a baseball game sometimes has to reach out for the ball the pitcher has just thrown.

v     Don’t be distracted by how the person speaks or unusual mannerisms. Try to understand what the speaker’s intentions are. What is he or she trying to communicate to you?

v     There’s one easy thing you can do when you are not sure if you understand what the other person is trying to tell you.  You can say, ‘Did I understand you to say’ and now put what you think the person has said in your own words. If the speaker agrees you’ve stated the point correctly, now you are free to agree or disagree.  To agree before you understand what the other person has said is inane. To disagree before you understand is impertinent.

B) Think about your tone, for good conversation it should be pleasing, not too loud or too soft.

C) Don't feel you need to dominate in order to have a good conversation.

D)  Courtesy, genuine interest and a little preparation will give you an advantage in your ability to converse with others.

E)  Conversation is a joint endeavor, and it is important to remain rooted in connection with our partner even when we are the one doing the talking. This means being mindful of the other's context while we are speaking: his or her knowledge, interests, values, goals, etc. It also means paying attention to the other's moment to moment reactions and facial expressions: expressions of interest (or boredom), expressions of understanding (or confusion), expressions of pleasure (or displeasure).

F)   Don’t manipulate, or in other words, be honest and up-front. For the most part, people will immediately recognize when they are being manipulated. You may get away with it, but the chances that the person will look forward to their next conversation with you are slim.

G)  Avoid gossip and complaining. Both of these things are extremely easy to do and both lead to negative, empty feelings afterwards.

H)  Don’t be afraid to differ. Conversation is boring if everyone agrees. If you don’t agree, say you don’t and explain why.

I)    Know and use your sense of humor in moderation. Figure out what’s natural for you and go with it. 

J) When asking for someone for information or their opinion be careful not to arouse self-abasement by exposing their ignorance or strutting your own knowledge.

K)   Argument can be a tonic to conversation, but it must be in good humour.

L)   Do not interrupt people when speaking (unless they don't seem to stop...)

M) Brush up on current events. Even with limited time, you can have a cursory knowledge of what’s happening in the world.

N)   Keep your own comments short and to the point. No one is interested in hearing you drone on about your own opinions or achievements. Brevity and humility go a long way in social situations.

 

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