How to Win Friends
How to Win Friends
To win friends is one of the most difficult tasks. A large number of youngsters find that they hardly have any true friends or most of them even find that others are just avoiding him or her. In case you follow these steps given below to meet new people and form strong, you will be able to increase lasting friendships.
Make time, prioritise relationships:
Don’t fall into the habit of thinking, “I’ll try and find the time”. It’s a cop out. You cannot find time. Everyday, you decide where to put your attention, and those activities will in turn create your day, your week and eventually your life. Be mindful of where you focus your time and energy. Does this match your values and how you want your life to be? There’s no use saying “ My family and friends are the most important thing” if you work 80 hours a week and never see them. Be conscious of how you spend your time and choose to prioritise the people in your life.
Spend more time around people.
Join a club with people who have common interests or volunteer. Volunteering is a great way for people of all ages to meet others. By working together you build bonds with people, and you might meet others who have a passion for changing things the way you do—a common cause.
Talk to people.
Initiate a get-together.
If you've discovered that the person you're talking to has a common interest, ask him or her more about it and, if appropriate, whether they get together with others (in a club, for example) to pursue this interest. If so, this is a perfect opportunity to ask about joining them or ask them out for lunch or coffee. That will give you a better opportunity to talk and get to know each other a little bit better.
Be a good friend.
Once you've started spending time with potential friends, remember to do your part (i.e. initiating activities, remembering birthdays, and asking how the other person is feeling) or else the friendship will become unbalanced and resentment is likely to arise.
Treat others how you want to be treated
You may have heard of the law of attraction, which states that what we project to the world will be sent right back to us. This means you must decide what qualities are important to you, because you cannot receive what you do not give. Personally, don’t think you can go past honesty, loyalty and integrity as a foundation for choosing friends. Be considerate. Don’t make plans you won’t keep. Be a safe haven for your friends, someone they can rely on.
Have fun, share rituals and laugh often
Hold onto rituals. They connect you with your friends and your youth. Shared memories help define our life and how we see our lives. Don’t throw them away just because they are getting harder to manage. The key is to negotiate.
Accept people the way they are, suspend judgement
Some people always know the right thing to say, others seem to have a knack for getting it all wrong. The key with managing friendships and reducing conflict is to accept people the way they are. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. Fighting your friends’ natural personalities is a losing battle. We cannot control other people and frankly, we have no right to try. The sooner we accept this, the easier all our relationships become.
Don’t criticize your friends, partners, children or family. This is always a no-no. We may all like to rant about our loved ones, but we do not want anyone else does it. This is a golden rule.
If there is disagreement, stay calm
Things happen, ugly words can be exchanged. This is the nature of human relationships. Before you react to a hurtful situation with friend, always stop and breathe. Try not to react in anger. Express your feelings honestly but calmly.
Accept that friendships change and sometimes end
There are times when people change enough to have nothing in common anymore. Sometimes, this is temporary, at other times this is not. Either way, the best thing you can do when a relationship falter is to let it go. Relationships have energy of their own. They can ebb and flow. Sometimes you are not quite clicking, at other times you are. Petering out friendships can be very stressful, but change is apart of life and relationships which do end can still be reassured for what they brought before. They don’t have to be a mistake.
Treat yourself with kindness and respect and others will do the same
This is probably the most important point. You cannot be a friend to others, if you are not a friend to yourself. If you want other people to treat you with respect, then you need to be the first person in line to respect yourself. Being a good friend does not mean being a doormat. The kinder you are to yourself the happier you will be.
Choose your friends wisely
Make sure you are smart and choose friends who are worthy of your valuable time and attention. It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you have ever made. No one has the time and energy for that. If you don’t consciously choose which relationships to focus on, you will spread yourself too thin and you will have less to give to those who deserve it most. Do not be fooled by glamour. A person’s behaviour is much more important than their words or how they represent themselves. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you. People who make your day a little sunnier, simply by being in it.